"Fussball ist wie Schach, nur ohne WÜrfel".
- Football is like chess, just with no dice.

Thursday’s child is full of stats

Posted on: October 27th, 2011 by Jacob, Image © Andre Stiebitz Wkimedia Commons 10 Comments

Well, it can only be an improvement on last Thursday’s child which was actually full of two stats and a lot more shit. Leagues wrong, dates wrong. I can only apologise to the thronging hoards of our loyal readers who must have felt like Southampton fans on discovering that Ali Dia was not only not related to George Weah, but (like the majority of people that aren’t related to George Weah, and probably most of those who are) wasn’t even any good at football either. Unfortunately that makes No Dice a virtual St. Marys and me a virtual Graham Souness. It hurts me more than it does you.

2. Bundesliga

Friday 28th Oct. 18.00 at the Alte Försterei is the clash of the so called Kult clubs, 1.FC Union vs St Pauli. Union have just the single loss at home this season and will be hoping for Torsten Mattuschka to continue his devastating form with set-pieces this year. His equaliser last week against Aue was eerily similar to the winner he hammered home against the Reeperbahners 2 seasons ago. Altogether the teams have played 9 times, with 3 wins each and 3 draws. Here’s hoping they can match the games of the 2002/03 season which saw ten goals scored and four points in the bag for Union. It is already SOLD OUT.

3. Bundesliga

Saturday 29th Oct. 14.00 at the Karl Liebknecht Stadion is SV Babelsberg 03 vs Vfl Osnabrück. Babelsberg sit a mere 4 points off the bottom of the table, having lost 2 games on the bounce to the U-23′s of Werder Bremen and Stuttgart but have a superior goals scored record to most of their competitors, partly due to Markus Müller’s 6 so far this season. The Potsdamers will take heart from Osnabrück’s draw with bottom of the table Jena last week. They haven’t played since the 2002/03 season in the Regionalliga Nord when, despite Babelsberg’s cunning plan of fielding a player called Gert Müller, Osnabrück won both encounters.

Regionalliga Nord

Sunday 30th Oct. 14.00 at the Amateurstadion finds Hertha BSC II vs Wolfsburg II. Hertha’s under-23′s are also only three points above the drop, but have the 2nd worst goal difference in the whole league having conceded 19 and only scored nine goals so far this season. Six of those, however, have come at the Amateurstadion. Hertha have lost their last four games against the Volkswagen juniors, and will be hoping to get back on track after last week’s 5-0 humping at Germania Halberstadt.

Oberliga Nordost Nord

Saturday 29th Oct. 14.00 at the Stadion Lichterfelde is the bottom of the table clash, a must win game between Lichterfelder FC vs 1.FC Neubrandenburg. 10 games, 2 points and -16 goal difference tells its own story about LFC’s season so far, but they can take heart  from their comeback from 3 goals down to draw with Türkiyem’ a couple of weeks ago. They’ve never met Neubrandenburg before, so Thursday’s child remains without some stats to fill out the rest of its preview. We, therefore, can happily predict goals galore, and nobody can point out our own failings.

Saturday 29th Oct. 14.00 at the Jahn-Sportplatz is a real derby. A couple of miles (via the most beautiful tram ride in Berlin) and a single point separate Germania Schöneiche vs 1.FC Union II. Fifth against sixth. Off the back of last weeks rip-roaring 4-3 win against table-topping Torgelow, Schöneiche will be hoping to continue the hoodoo they have over their neighbours after last year’s two 3-1 victories.

Saturday 29th Oct. 14.00 at the Sportforum is BFC Dynamo vs Anker Wismar. Dynamo were horribly unlucky in losing to Türkiyemspor last week, and will hope to get their season back on track against 13th placed Wismar. Last year’s match ups were as stodgy as last year’s Stollen with a single goal in the 2 fixtures (BFC won 1-0 at home), but maybe there will be a reprise of 2000/01′s 4-0 and 3-0 wins for Dynamo. Or for that matter, 2004′s 6-1 or 2006′ 5-0 spankings. There’s always hope, eh?

Naturally there are plenty other games on in this fair city, but No Dice is simply too lazy busy to mention them. Please fill in the gaps in the comments, and feel free to point out my myriad of mistakes. You know that they’ll (to paraphrase the Four Tops) be there.

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10 Responses

  1. Stephen says:

    I’m off to Babelsberg on Saturday, which means I won’t be able to see 1st v 4th in the Berlin-Liga, Lichtenberg 47 v Eintracht Mahlsdorf. KO 13:00 if anyone else fancies it.

  2. Torsten says:

    Eisern. Three points and twenty biers will make a good Friday. UNVEU

  3. Mark says:

    Didn’t Mattuschka get the first and Karim Benyamina tuck away a late winner?

  4. Mark says:

    If I didn’t have a game myself that afternoon I think I’d be off to the Jahn-sportplatz. Excellent round-up!

    Did you hear about a referee in one of the local regional leagues getting beaten up a couple of weeks back? There was a referee strike in that league last weekend and in the other leagues the refs stopped the games after 10 mins for a few minutes.

  5. Jacob says:

    cheers Mark. Bastard. Never mind, I actually missed that game through a combination of my wifes thirtieth and the volcano in Iceland. You win something, though.

  6. Jacob says:

    The ref was a guy called Gerald Bothe, playing for or against Medizin someone. Hospital. Nasty. Really nasty. The BFV have got a campaign going. Support your local referees. Fucking right on.

    Cheers for your comments mate

  7. jacob says:

    @mark
    Sorry fella, bit drunk when i wrote that. http://www.tagesspiegel.de/sport/berlinsport/hertha-schiedsrichter-bewusstlos-gepruegelt/4627082.html
    this says what happened. Gerald Bothe was the referee for a match between tsv helgoland and medizin friedrichshain. after he gave a last minute penalty he was beaten to the ground. Horrible, fortunately one of the medizin players stopped him swallowing his tongue, saved his life by all accounts. I’ve actually written a short piece about it for our 1st issue of the magazine proper (hitting the stands soon) to accompany a beautiful foto essay by Ian about berlins referees.
    cheers again
    jacob

  8. Jacob says:

    Well Surprise, sur-fucking-prise. Sorry if you have read the above expecting any of it to actually be correct. The Oberliga fixtures are Saturday, NOT SUNDAY. Must do better (he says to himself over, and over, and over, and over)

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